focusing on their failures
didnt feel sorry until I thought of how others would look at me now
talking bad about them
belittling them
who am I to judge them like that
im no better not worse than them

You have made us all lovingly in your eyes
why do I have to do this
it’s because I’m jealous
afraid that I’m not enough anymore
needing to compete with those I consider below me because I feel beat down and can’t catch up to those above
I keep forgetting about goodness
love and being caring

I keep thinking about karma
it’s not real, is it?
it’s not.
but I can’t stop thinking about it
all the bad things I’ve done
coming back to haunt me
the things I think about
not wanting to happen to me
will happen just because I thought of it

im such a bitch.
im not nice, and I don’t want to be known as perfect
because im shite, full of mistakes, a bad influence
I tell myself to be better but I keep forgetting

He forgives
and He says I don’t need to pay for my sins because it already has been done
this is a lesson
learn and keep growing

help me to remember to be a better person
it’s hard but it’s a process