all these breakthroughs and opportunities
you have given to me
seems as if I should be okay now
in a better place
circumstances are looking up

but I still feel worn out
beaten down
weaker than ever

temptations creeping upon me
crawling from down under and back
inching to touch and suffocate me
chaining me down
harder than ever
I can’t do this
not alone

I can’t last through the night
nor start a new morning
fresh and innocent
I always need more
nothing can ever seem to satisfy

I push it in the back of my mind
keeping myself distracted and occupied
but it attacks in moments of freedom
vulnerable
and I return to the same spot I was before
New year’s Eve

he said I can overcome it
we can
now

I don’t know about that
it may be never
it feels like never