insecurities

body image
chloe ting
28 flat belly challenge
day 24
belly still here
convincing myself
there’s a slight shadow of an ab formation
but it’s just the bone
grabbing my fat
pinching
tensing my core
nothing.
spending so much time
everyday
sweating and suffering
what’s the point
I say it’s for endurance
but I just want to be skinny

eating habits
anxiety about buying too much food
3.5 weeks left
still have alot to go through
why did I waste money on so much
it’s not a big deal
but I’m stressing out
not being able to finish everything
snacking often
eating too fast
full


she eats junk food for every meal
pizza rolls taquitos
cups and salsa
Nutella and pretzels
milk and soda
pasta with butter garlic and cheese
yet she looks like a model

kale kale kale
miso soup
bibimbap
vegetables
oatmeal
fruits
I thought I was eating healthy

why do I still look like this

I’ve never had these issues
about eating
or how I look
why did I become like this
it’s not a disease
but it could become one
I could blame people for it
but it’s all in my head

not doing enough
work more than 8 hours
don’t get overpaid
task based fulfillment
not getting criticism
compliments
yet feeling like
they’re not telling me something
it’s not enough
not satisfied
not happy
I don’t know if I can keep on doing this
why did I become like this

or have I always been
this conscious