you deserve better
you deserve someone who is
head over heels for you
someone who loves you
and is not afraid to say that
someone who is fully willing to commit to you

someone who understands the boundaries you put
and doesn’t passive-aggressively push you, gaslight you
and makes you feel bad that
he can’t have sex because it’ll hurt your feelings
even though it’s “just meaningless sex”
what is meaningless sex anyways
why can sex be meaningless?
isn’t it supposed to be emotional, intimate
another way of showing love?

you deserve someone who supports you
who is patient
who doesn’t make you feel like
you’re stalling their love and sex life

someone who doesn’t put sex before you
somone who prioritizes developing the relationship
before having sex
instead of having sex
as the determining factor
whether we’ll be together or not

someone who when they call you babe
or any other form of
words of affection
they fully mean it
that you are their’s
and they are your’s
hearts and minds committed
only to each other
someone who won’t throw around that word
so lightly
if it’s really that way
how many other people is he calling babe
is that word not that important to you?

someone who can guarantee you safety
and committment
who won’t leave and throw you aside after taking away
your innocence, your heart, your body, virginity
who won’t treat you like just another body count
just another tight pussy
for his pleasure

someone who doesn’t only ask how much you like them
but also express their love to you
and doesn’t make you feel like
it’s a one-sided chase
and that you’re just another dumb girl
that wants his dick
who is easily accessbile
that he can always go back to
after fucking another girl
who will welcome him back
with open arms
and pussy
because you’ll always still want him
no matter how much he hurts you
you don’t deserve to be played
and be treated like sloppy seconds

someone who you can trust
that won’t make you always think and worry
if he’s flirting with someone else
or fucking someone else right now
or even having the intention to
someone who won’t purposely make you jealous
and test or joke around with you
with saying that he’s going to have sex right now
just because you’re busy

someone that you won’t give up on
and accept that he’s just that way
brush off all his red flags
and change who you are
to agree with his values

someone who won’t give up on you
who won’t say fuck it
and immediately think of contacting
the girl he fucked in November
just because he wants to cum

someone who won’t ruin your day
with just a single comment
who won’t affect you so much
because you are so much stronger than that
you are so much more independent than that
you yourself know who you are
you don’t have to be so shaken by someone like that

someone who you can be fully commited to
because you love him so much
and you won’t have an ounce of desire
to be with someone else
because he’s so much more than
you need or deserve
and you won’t be always thinking about
being with anyone else

that you aren’t only with him
because of the possiblity of having
your sexual fantasies and desires fulfilled
because in the end
anyone can throw you around and fuck you
anyone can get you on all 4s
to take you from behind and spank you
choke and pull your hair
to make you feel good
flip you around
pin you down
lift your legs to make your pussy tighter
and fuck you until they cum in you
make you feel wanted
feel like you’re their’s
only their’s
anyone can be that

but not just anyone
can actually want you
only you
even after the sex
not just anyone can
give you all you need
in a relationship
it’s not all about the sex

you deserve someone who you can confidently say
you want to be with them
not just because you’re feeling horny
and want to have sex with him
but because you’re truly invested in the relationship
and fully trust that they are as well
having no doubts at all

he’s not a bad person
not at all
but he’s not for me
and I not for him
we’re just different people
with different values
different priorities
with similar wants
but different needs
different stages in life
i’m just starting
fragile, emotional, hesitant, careful
he’s been in the game for so long
it’s normal for him to have casual sex
just because it isn’t normal for you
doesn’t mean that he’s wrong
we’re just too different

and he deserves someone better
for him
and you deserve someone better
for you
someone not like him

it’s going to be painful
letting your first…
I can’t even call it relationship
we weren’t ever serious
but it was something
and I can’t dismiss what we had
but you have to make this decision
that you’re both better off without each other
because deeper you both get
the worse the ending will be
the more torn apart you will feel

you need to do this for yourself
you know who you need
and it’s not him
so don’t cling on to him anymore
let him go