asking about my non-existent sex life
thoughts on sex
getting hard
wanting to cuddle
when you still had a girlfriend

girlfriend
for so long she wasn’t your girlfriend
girlfriendnotgirlfriend
someone you were just seeing
she thinks you’re funny
she just really likes your d
you have commitment issues

condoms
you thought so clearly at first
you agreed to use a condom
just to be safe
that was when it felt like you really liked me then.
but then
you wanted to fuck me raw
even for just a few seconds
20 seconds
because it makes you feel good
so I push my boundaries
twist my thoughts
think it’s hot to be fucked raw
and now I’ll let you cum in me.
always practice protective sex
any guy who is not willing to wear a condom
or makes excuses for it
they’re not worth it
they’re a walking STD

just get it over with
you think clearly for a second
say it would be the best if we stopped flirting
we should have stopped it after the first time we sexted
I shouldn’t let you take my virginity
oh, but wait
I took birth control
you don’t want it to go to waste
so why don’t we just fuck one time
get it over with

meaningless sex
you have a sex appointment after work
with the new girl
she’s cute
she wants your d
but it’s just meaningless sex
you’ll have sex with her today
and sex with me next week.
does that even make any fucking sense?
do you expect me to sit around, be still
knowing that you’re having sex with someone
and welcome you back with my pussy open for you?
so you say you were stupid
you don’t know what you were thinking.
but you keep pushing me
saying you’ll have sex with her
oh, you were just joking
sorry babe

babe
why do you call me that?
do you go around calling everyone babe?
don’t you know the weight of these words of affection?
don’t you know how special you make me feel when you call me that?
and how special you are to me, now that I’m comfortable calling you that?
and you still say we’re not in a relationship.
what does babe mean to you then?
what does cuddling every night mean to you then?

exclusive relationship
we never agreed to be in an exclusive relationship
and now all of a sudden I’m saying that you can’t have sex with anyone
because we never talked about it?
is that what is normal these days?
to be okay knowing that the person you’ve been flirting with
for the past 6 months
is fucking someone else right now?
all that we’ve built
just thrown away like that

nudes
I’m not comfortable sending pictures of my naked body
you say it’s okay
you’re not pushing me
but you want to see my boobs
and you keep saying that
and you go and look at other girls’ boobs
so then I send you one
and another one
and another
to keep pleasing you
for you to look back on whenever you’re horny
you said you would send me a dick pic
I guess that would have made me feel better
about sending my nudes
but then all of a sudden
you’re shy
so I keep sending and sending
and you keep receiving and receiving.
that day I broke up with you for 2 hours
I asked you to delete them
I’m not comfortable with you having them
you said okay
but after you masturbate to them
so later that night
I ask you again
you said you forgot to delete them
oh right, I remember
you said you’ve saved all the boob pics you’ve received
that’s just fucking creepy
you’re turning 30 years old this year
and you still have a collection of boob pics
disgusting

online dating
will you ever try online dating?
why do you ask that?
aren’t we doing that already?
oh right, we’re not dating
we’re just flirting.
do you want me to try online dating then?
if I want to
because then I won’t have to think you’re cool
what do you mean by that?
are you just saying that to get me to realize
how pathetic you are?
you’re trying to inadvertently tell me
that you just want sex with me
and I deserve more than you?
why else would you ask that
when we’re still doing what we’re doing
our flirting and fighting cycle

inattentive
my birthday
at least the general date
late November
when you went to have sex with another girl
my age
you’re 23?
how many times have you asked that already
my favorite color
oh it’s pastel purple
not it’s not.
it was
but we had a whole night’s worth discussion
on pastel yellow
everything before this
all our conversations before we started flirting
you don’t remember any of it.
maybe I’m just too detail-oriented
maybe it’s true that girls always remember everything
or maybe you’re just selfish and inattentive

bye.
you always say bye so easily
like it’s so natural for you to leave
don’t you know how
clingy and attached to you I am already?
don’t you know that I don’t want you to
abandon me
is this how you’ll be
after you take my virginity?
how could you give up so easily
and let me go like this
why do you say bye intentionally
and make me beg for you to come back?
it hurts me everytime you say
bye.

to be continued…
hopefully not.