let me get this clear.

you just want to have sex with me.
you don’t want to be in any committed relationship with me.
you say that you can’t promise me that you’ll be committed
because you don’t actually want to be with me.
you just want to fuck me
knowing my pussy is tight
extra bonus points
I’m a virgin
it makes you hard thinking that
I haven’t been fucked before
you’ll be the first.
you only want to take my virginity?
I hope that is not your intention.
you just want to have sex with me.

but you feel bad.
you wish that I had a boyfriend before
or I’ve been fucked before
so you don’t feel bad about
being my first everything.

so you play with me.
you say all the things you want to do with me
and make me want the same things too.
I ask to meet with you
willingly giving you my body.
you agree.
but when it comes to the time
you’re hesitant
you suddenly feel tired
lethargic
avoid meeting me.
you feel bad.

I try
I plan everything out
I make sure I washed my hair
put on perfume
wore my best underwear
pluck my pubes
because you like it that way
I try and try
preparing to give you my body

but you’re sleepy.
and I don’t feel wanted anymore
even if I have decided to let you just fuck me
knowing that nothing good will come out of it
you still don’t want me.
because you feel bad.

I remember when I first came home from Texas
you were so excited to meet with me
you were so much more invested
spoke your mind and communicated thoroughly
when we would get into serious conversations

now you’re just too sleepy to talk
and you brush me away
what happened?

we’ve been in this for more than 6 months.
let’s not drag it out any further.