where else am I supposed to release them though?
I’ve already tried to make it as anonymous as I can.

I found things to relate to today
but it led me to a deep and dark rabbit hole
searching for things to convince myself
that what I want to do isn’t so bad
it’s normal to want it
I’ve become numb to it
when just last year
it was the worst and most disgusting thing that
I could ever think about
I’ve normalized it
And yesterday when I could finally smile
about His resurrection
and my saving
I fall into the devil’s arms again today
They are fighting a war over me
and I have lost today
just like any other day
You said you have won the battles already
I want to believe it
but I’m not seeing it right now
and I don’t want to win right now