freedom
what is it

giving you control
that’s not my freedom
is it?

I have fear
fear of doubt
fear of not knowing what is right

all these songs
that used to comfort me
as I release myself

I fear now
negative thoughts fuming overhead
their intentions are not pure
I can’t even concentrate
on the words
on You

what is exactly right
how do I find out
who do I follow

I follow You
but how
it’s hard to see You
hear You
feel You

have I ever actually felt
Your presence?
I am doubting now
that all the experiences before
were just feelings

the heart is deceitful

I’m scared
of a day where I decide to stop doing all this
is that where finding the truth will lead me?
is that day going to come?
will I feel much more freedom?
will I be able to return?
will I think to return?

I don’t know
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to leave You
I feel safe now
in ignorance

but can I live forever in ignorance
in doubt?

I’m scared