I feel it coming
I want to give in

the songs that fill my head
keep me from doing it
but I find myself
wanting to block it out

I want to dive deep
into this night of regret
it will be just this night
I tell myself
a momentary bliss
and a bit of guilt and disgust afterwards
but it’ll pass
like it always does

I want to feel held down
caressed and touched
the sacred parts
get feelings
thoughts go wild
I want to be breatheless
and melt into my thoughts of you

it’s so hard to escape out of this
it’s what I want the most
at this moment
just this satisfaction
for tonight

but I think of karma again
and she’ll haunt me tomorrow
a day I need to go well
I can’t have it be ruined by her

which will I choose
it feels the answer is obvious
I want one so much more than the other
but the other is the right answer
it’s so hard to fight this

when will it ever end
when will be the day
where I choose the right answer with no doubt
soon
or perhaps never