started off eerie
heard the car crash
blocked the street
blue dented on both sides
same spot where I got hit

felt it was meant to be a bad day
my mood wasn’t great
tried to choose to be happy
but tiredness swamped over me

flash forward to the phone call
from San Antonio, Texas
they want to talk to me
heart beating fast
barely breathing
accidentally pressed delete

called her, got the name
something I can’t describe anymore
words can’t convey
this moment of shock
I got it

God
thank you
what are you doing
with my life
why is this happening

just flooded with feelings
tried to go back and act normal
they knew
I broke down
hands shaking

they were happy for me
I felt guilty
I was scared
there would be jealousy
because I know
I would be hateful and jealous
towards me

this opportunity I didn’t deserve
I did nothing to earn this
it was all your doing God
more thoughts
maybe I’ll write another time

he got the call too
disappointed we would be in
different locations
thought it would have
been a chance to
get closer

but alas that night
we did
somehow I shared
that secret that only
3 other people know
now he makes the 4th

I don’t know why I was comfortable in sharing
maybe because he said
he was struggling with it too

I feel like I gave him my heart
all that I had
just by talking about that

we have to be close now
right?
now that he knows
my biggest flaw

I remember telling myself
to not get that close to him
because I felt that
he brings out the worst in me
there’s no denying
that I liked him
maybe I still do
but it doesn’t feel right
and for me

and now we’re here
I don’t know what your plan is God
was it your will for me to share
with him

I took a nap
woke up never feeling like so
I had forgotten everything
what happened during the day slowly
started to flood back to my mind
like it had all been a dream
but it was true
it was all true

what a strange day