apparently my giggle is really adorable
1) I didn’t know I giggled
2) thanks
3) howdareu call me adorable I am older than you
4) now I feel like I can’t laugh normal cuz it’s a giggle and I don’t really want to be giggling all the time
5) giggle is not a very likeable word in my dictionary
6) thanks again

I pleaded to God
for your quick and safe arrival
worrying about possible
traffic and parking
you may encounter

relieved to see you there
white
everything is going to be fine

I should have prayed for wisdom
for you
awakeness, peace, knowledge, clarity,
confidence that you can do well
despite the lack of sleep
and the circumstances

My stomach churned
flipped over
when you said no
it was a rough day
my heart broke
as if it had been me instead

I think you wouldn’t appreciate the pity
but I don’t know how else to comfort you
I still care for you
even if I have decided to view you as otherwise
these instinctive feeling tells the truth
about how I feel

I pray to God that He will bring good out of this
you are smart
capable
honest

I have cheated
I think I am in a good place
but not out of my own efforts
I don’t want to be punished
but I have done wrong
and the right has suffered

you are deserving of everything good
I pray that it will come to you
pray that at the end of the day
it doesn’t define who you are

because you are so much greater
intelligent
I see it
the letters and numbers don’t tell
all that can be seen

so I pray that you will be at peace
be comforted
that is all I can do now
as I try to move forward
and let you go
open my heart to you
as a brother

His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

i think i do too.

#monkeyspaw

I just
wanna
be here
with You

ask and you shall receive

I asked to learn more about You
dive deeper into Your word
be more intentional
find out
ask questions

it’s all that matters
at the end
even now
it should be the only thing
that matters

You answered me
You provided for me
these opportunities
from a small group to a course
it’s all going by so fast
but I’m learning
knowing more
understanding

and it’s not other’s interpretations
they’re honest
they don’t know
I respect that
but they point me back to You
to Your word
only You know
so we should get to know You

help me to do Your will now

let this be a note to remember that He’s real
He hears you
and He will answer you

but why, me?



I hoped that it was a stranger
so that my mind wouldn’t think about you

where else am I supposed to release them though?
I’ve already tried to make it as anonymous as I can.

I found things to relate to today
but it led me to a deep and dark rabbit hole
searching for things to convince myself
that what I want to do isn’t so bad
it’s normal to want it
I’ve become numb to it
when just last year
it was the worst and most disgusting thing that
I could ever think about
I’ve normalized it
And yesterday when I could finally smile
about His resurrection
and my saving
I fall into the devil’s arms again today
They are fighting a war over me
and I have lost today
just like any other day
You said you have won the battles already
I want to believe it
but I’m not seeing it right now
and I don’t want to win right now

but never leave me